Rev Gav

What does it mean to be family?

Luke 12.49–56

“I came to bring fire to the earth, and how I wish it were already kindled! I have a baptism with which to be baptized, and what stress I am under until it is completed! Do you think that I have come to bring peace to the earth? No, I tell you, but rather division! From now on, five in one household will be divided, three against two and two against three; they will be divided:

father against son and son against father,
mother against daughter and daughter against mother,
mother-in-law against her daughter-in-law
and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.”

He also said to the crowds, “When you see a cloud rising in the west, you immediately say, ‘It is going to rain’; and so it happens. And when you see the south wind blowing, you say, ‘There will be scorching heat’; and it happens. You hypocrites! You know how to interpret the appearance of earth and sky, but why do you not know how to interpret the present time?

If all those 1920s Italian mafia gangster movies have taught me anything, family is sacrosanct. If there’s somewhere you ‘don’t go’, a conversation that’s off-limits, or something you don’t criticise publicly, it’s family, so what on earth was Jesus doing using strong language (including hyperbole such as ‘bringing fire to earth’) in the context of family? Hadn’t he watched those Italian mafia films? Someone tell him to put a sock in it before we all get gunned down by a Thompson machine gun!

Now, the traditional or shallow interpretation of this passage is about belief. I’ve heard preachers tell congregations that families will be divided by those who believe and trust in Jesus, and those who don’t, and I guess this is kinda true, Jesus is a dividing line and you either believe or don’t believe he was and is God. Yet, knowing Jesus, if we dig a bit deeper, I think there is more to this than meets the eye, and as usual, context is everything.

Jesus, driven by a relentless compassion for those who had been left out in the cold — the marginalised, widowed, orphaned, and ostracised — consistently subverted and disrupted social norms, so what social norm do we encounter in this passage? Family.

Family in first century Palestine was patriarchal where the father was the head and ruler of the household and his word was final. Members of the family, including wives and children were considered to be the father’s property. Now, I’m not saying a father didn’t love his spouse or kids, but there was a strict hierarchy, and women and children had little or no rights within the family, and without it they were completely lost. One’s identity was tied to the family to which you belonged, and the identity of males remained so, until they married and left home to start their own family of dependants. If, for any reason, you found yourself out of the family unit, you would be ostracised by society. First century Palestine was no easy place for widows, orphans, or those who became disenfranchised, and to regain any kind of rights or financial stability meant to come under the umbrella of a new family, and this would typically entail becoming a servant or slave.

All the way through scripture, God’s heart is for the disenfranchised, and in this passage, Jesus subverted and disrupted this social norm, giving rights for those who found themselves alienated from their earthly family to call God their ‘father’ and become children of a new heavenly family — the church. The old, dominant, hierarchical patriarchy was broken, and replaced with a new family unit where males and females, slaves and free, and those of different races, abilities, social classes, and age would have equality. And yes, as Jesus warned, things would be shaken up — a lot.

So what’s the faith lesson for us?

Firstly I think there’s a mandate from God to disassemble patriarchy wherever it may be found. Family units are to be egalitarian, where partners are considered equal and deserve equal rights and opportunities, and where there is an existing patriarchy (or matriarchy), it’s up to those in authority to relinquish their grip and bring the family under the banner of Christ. I’m aware many in existing relationships practice complementarianism and hold that partners are equal in value and dignity but have distinct, complementary roles and that is okay too. For example, in our household, Helen drives the car and I navigate but we have equal say as to where we go!

Secondly, we are called to reflect the heart of God and, like Jesus, we are driven by a relentless compassion for those who have been left out in the cold. Our little community, FAB Church, is gathering those who are  disenfranchised — those without ‘traditional’ family, and when I look at who we are gathering, the compassion of God working through us warms my heart and feel the weight of God’s love.

Some of us are bereaved or have lost loved ones, some of us never married and long for a partner or spouse, some of us feel the pain of having no children, some of us have alienated our families and are estranged from relatives, some of us have been neglected, some of us have no parents or have been disowned, some of us have been ostracised because of our mental health, gender, or behaviour, and so on. The point is that we are forming a new kind of family here at FAB Church, and we are getting to know, and learning to love, our new siblings, our new parents, and our new children.

How wonderful and amazing is our God who has not left us alone but given us all another family to which we can belong?

Amen.

Photo by Claudia Raya on Unsplash

Thanks to Simon Cross.