Rev Gav

What does it mean to be an overcomer?

Colossians 3:12-17

I am no trauma specialist, and I am not a counsellor, but I can speak from both my own experience of trauma, and from journeying alongside others who have also experienced trauma.

Trauma, by definition, is an experience or experiences that have a lasting negative impact on one’s life, resulting in what we call ‘being traumatised’, the effects of which can be of different depths or magnitudes. These can include anything from disturbing dreams to bouts of anxiety to anti-social behaviours, and those that are traumatised know all about those nasty ‘triggers’ that plunge us back into the nightmare.

Being four-dimensional beings, trauma can be in any or all of our four dimensions — physical, emotional, intellectual, and/or spiritual. For example — and these are in no way exhaustive — we may experience trauma in our physical bodies such as a wound or injury, the emotional trauma of seeing a loved one suffer or hurt, the intellectual trauma of having to make life or death decisions, or the trauma of being made to feel we are somehow loved less by God and worthy of punishment. Of course, being four-dimensional and holistic beings mean that trauma in one area affects all areas.

Healing from trauma can be a long process, and it often needs specialist help where we can ‘re-live’ that trauma, piece by piece, in a safe environment. This is where counselling comes in, and why so many who have experienced trauma have recurring dreams — it is the brain’s way of facing and processing horrendous experiences in a ‘safe’ environment — unfortunately, also a deeply unsettling and unpleasant experience.

There are many tools in the counsellor’s bag, and there is no blanket ‘fix all’. These can include therapies such as visualisation, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR), and mindfulness.

What can also be a great help is being part of a loving and accepting community — a place where we can be our broken, healing, or scarred selves, where others accept us for who we are (including our expressions of traumatisation when we say, think or exhibit certain behaviours), and where others commit to journeying with us. Is this not what church should be? My friend Shirene likes to remimd me, “church should be a hospital, not a museum” but I might add, “or a court room.” You are not on trial here.

The good news is that we can heal from trauma, but recognise that trauma often has permanent lasting affects on our character. Although the experiences do not define us, they inevitably shape us, and sometimes in ways that are wholly positive — for example, increased empathy, patience, resilience, sensitivity, or awareness. It is also important to recognise that trauma leaves scars, and these can be physical, emotional, intellectual, and/or spiritual. One thing I am trying to learn is to recognise these scars and remember that they themselves are not the trauma, but symbols of how that trauma was overcome.

It is fascinating to ponder that the fully healed and resurrected Jesus bore the physical scars of his crucifixion. Surely, if we are resurrected with ‘new’ bodies, these bodies will be perfect? I am an amateur theologian, and I can only guess, but somehow those scars were and are important, and I remind myself that the scars were not the trauma, but symbols of trauma that was overcome. I also remind myself that the scars Jesus bore on his hands, feet, and side were physical scars, but that he also bore emotional, intellectual, and spiritual scars too — the scars we cannot see. We too, like Jesus, may be healed but, like Jesus, we will never forget.

I was recently talking to traumatised abuse survivors, and how we must try to stop using the word ‘victim’ but instead use the term ‘survivor’. For example, we do not talk about those who are alive after car accidents as victims, no, we call them survivors. Yet, some survivors of abuse found the term ‘survivor’ offensive, as they felt that it carried the idea that somehow the trauma defined them still. When asked what better word could be used, they struggled to find the perfect word, but the closest they could suggest was, ‘overcomer’. I like that.

Perhaps there are stages that all of us who have experienced trauma go through. I am not sure I can call myself an ‘overcomer’ yet, but my goodness, that is where I am heading! I was a victim (exhibiting brokenness), I am a survivor (going through the process of healing), and I will, through God’s grace, be an overcomer (bearing scars as symbols of that which I have overcome).

Many of us at FAB Church have experienced trauma, and when I consider my friends here, and we share our stories, I marvel that they are still standing in the face of circumstances and situations that surely would have finished me. Each one is a testimony to the resilience of the human spirit — and the grace of God — in the face of adversity, and all are painfully aware of their own inner-brokenness. All of us, including me, go ‘off the rails’ in one way or another — having inappropriate thoughts, saying inappropriate things, and expressing feelings in inappropriate ways, yet, there is something extremely powerful about being part of a loving and accepting community where we actively and consistently demonstrate God’s love and acceptance. In fact, this is the calling of every Christian, to be filled with God’s Spirit, and allow God’s love to flow from us to others.

To bring this message to a close, all of us bear scars that others cannot see and we all need to be gentle with ourselves and each other. I am reminded of the passage from Paul’s letter to the church in Colossae where he writes:

“Therefore, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as Christ has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of the Lord dwell in you richly; teach and admonish one another in all wisdom; and with gratitude in your hearts sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”

Amen.