Rev Gav
What is Sexual Immorality?
Mark 7.20-23
"What comes out of a person is what defiles them, for it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come — sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and foolishness. All these evils come from inside and defile a person."
Reflect
Sex sells right? So, I kinda hooked you in with this title, but I guess what I want to write about is not just Sexual Immorality but also what ‘sin’ is and how it relates to us, God, others, and the world around us (God’s creation).
If you’re like me, you grew up with a very clear definition of what ‘sin’ is — a list of things that you must not do because they offend God, and we were told from the pulpit, lectern, or platform what was on this list based on what was written in the Bible.
Now, I have to confess that I have never very much liked being told what to think or do, and as a child this got me into all kinds of trouble, but as I have matured, this turned into an inquisitive and questioning mind, and after studying theology and with over twenty years of biblical teaching, preaching, and pastoral ministry under my belt, I have come to a different understanding of the nature of sin than that which I was so didactically taught. I therefore share this understanding in the spirit of openness and discussion. My word is never the last word (God forbid), and I submit to the authority of God and have a healthy respect for all scripture — after all, I have chosen to live a life in Christ as revealed by it. Don’t worry, we’ll get to the sex bit shortly!
If we are talking about things we shouldn’t do, it is perhaps best to start with the Ten Commandments. If you need a reminder, here they are (summarised):
- Don’t have other gods other than God.
- Don’t make or worship idols.
- Don’t misuse the name of God.
- Remember the sabbath day of rest and keep it holy.
- Honour your father and mother.
- Don’t murder.
- Don’t commit adultery.
- Don’t steal.
- Don’t lie and falsely accuse other people.
- Don’t desire or be jealous of other people’s stuff.
Now, the first four commandments are about our relationship with God and the other six commandments are about our relationship with others, and I think we can pretty much all agree that the ten commandments constitute what we might describe as ‘sins’. I think it’s also fair to say that Jesus took these laws a bit further by reminding us that ‘considering’ doing these things was also offensive to God — i.e. that our inner motivations or our hearts matter. Sorry folks, planning to commit murder is a no no!
Commandments five through ten, the ones about our relationship with others, all affect other people. For example, if I steal, it hurts someone else, or if I murder them, well, it ruins their day, and so on. Even the last commandment about not ‘coveting’ other people’s stuff is about how it breaks our relationship with them.
Okay, lets now get to the sex part as I know you’re desperate for me to do so! We’ll look at Mark 7.20-23.
Jesus states that, “What comes out of a person is what defiles them, for it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come — sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and foolishness. All these evils come from inside and defile a person.”
Like the ten commandments, this is another list, and this time all of them are to do with our relationship with others, or more specifically, how thinking and doing things have a negative affect on others — and sexual immorality is on this list. Therefore, the thing that makes sex ‘immoral’ is how it affects others. For example, taking something is not immoral, but taking something that belongs to someone else without their consent is immoral. We call it stealing. Or eating a donut and enjoying it is not immoral, but taking all the donuts to satisfy yourself without regard for anyone else is immoral. We call it greed. In the same way, enjoying sex either on your own or with a partner, is not immoral, but having sex at the expense of someone else is immoral. It’s called sexual immorality (or abuse).
The common factor in all ‘sins’ is that it is thinking or doing something that has a negative impact on our relationship with God, others, or the world around us. Rather than a long, prescriptive list of do’s and don’ts that cover every possible scenario, we can define sin as putting ourselves first at the expense of God, others, or the world around us.
What about specific examples then? Is masturbating a sin? Is having sex with someone the same gender a sin? Is having sex outside marriage a sin? Is being in a polyamorous relationship a sin? And the answer is, it depends! The answer is ‘no’ if we are not putting ourselves first at the expense of God, others, or the world around us, and the answer is ‘yes’ if we are.
For example, masturbation is not in itself a sinful act, but masturbating whilst watching pornography that features children or trafficked individuals, well, that would be. Okay then, is looking at consenting-actor pornography sinful? Well, if you are doing so wanting sex with someone else behind a partner’s back such that if they knew and would be offended or hurt, then yes. Or if pornography becomes something that you cannot do without and you would choose it over spending time with God, then yes. Remember, immorality or sinfulness is about our thoughts or actions with relation to God, other people, or the environment.
The bottom line is that being lesbian, having sex before marriage, masturbating, having more than one partner, or almost any aspect of sex and relationships is not in itself sinful but it could be.
How we relate to other people matters very much to God. It mattered to Jesus, it matters to the Holy Spirit, and it should matter to us. What we think and say matters, and we are called to live in harmony with God, others, and the world around us — and this includes all creation including ourselves.
Sadly, the church has reduced sin to a list of definitive do’s and don’ts without exception and without regard to the ‘morality’ of such thoughts and actions — i.e. how they impact others. From a philosophical point of view, the church has very much focused on the individual. The televangelist will ask, “Is Jesus your personal Lord and Saviour?” and the preacher will ask, “Do you have a problem with personal sin?” Friends, there is nothing personal about our faith as followers of Jesus Christ. We are the church and the church is, by definition, a Christ-centred community, and a Christ-centred community is a network of people in relationship with God and with each other. Sin cannot ever be divorced from relationship. Ever.
We, of course, need to be careful not to kid ourselves. We cannot excuse thoughts and behaviours that hurt God, others, ourselves, or creation, but we do have an advocate, Jesus Christ, who stands willing and ready to offer us forgiveness, peace, and reconciliation. The gospel really is good news!
The world is full of people who have been told they are ‘sinners’ because of their sexual orientation, their gender, their sexual practices, or their relationships. They have pulled away from church and many feel torn between having a faith in Christ and their God-given nature — one that they have been erroneously told is sinful. Yes, as human beings we do have a predisposition to put ourselves first at the expense of others — all of us have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God — but that is not all who we are and it does not define us. As Christians, it is time to reclaim lost ground and to welcome back into the fold those who have been so ruthlessly and mistakenly excommunicated from God’s church.
As agents for God, in the name of Jesus Christ, we offer forgiveness for past sins and a welcome to those who have been marginalised because of their sexuality, sexual practices, relationships, or gender — to take away any feelings of guilt and to set people free, not from bonds created by God, but bonds created by the church.
Amen.
Pray
Holy God
Thank you that
you have set me free
from the cords of sin
and from the
condemnation of others.
In my sexuality,
in my gender,
and in my lifestyle,
may I always give
you thanks and praise
for who you are,
and what you
have done for me.
Now and forever.
and then