Daily Bread

Simon Peter said to (six disciples), "I am going fishing." They said to him, "We will go with you." They went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing.

Just after daybreak, Jesus stood on the beach; but the disciples did not know that it was Jesus. Jesus said to them, "Children, you have no fish, have you?"

They answered him, "No."

He said to them, "Cast the net to the right side of the boat, and you will find some."

So they cast it, and now they were not able to haul it in because there were so many fish. That disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, "It is the Lord!"

When Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on some clothes, for he was naked, and jumped into the lake. But the other disciples came in the boat, dragging the net full of fish, for they were not far from the land, only about a hundred yards off.

When they had gone ashore, they saw a charcoal fire there, with fish on it, and bread. Jesus said to them, "Bring some of the fish that you have just caught." So Simon Peter went aboard and hauled the net ashore, full of large fish, a hundred and fifty-three of them; and though there were so many, the net was not torn.

Jesus said to them, "Come and have breakfast."

Now none of the disciples dared to ask him, "Who are you?" because they knew it was the Lord.

Jesus came and took the bread and gave it to them, and did the same with the fish.

Whenever I smell homemade bread, I am transported back into my Mom’s kitchen. I am a chubby, uncertain teen girl, frozen after a long, winter walk from school, but as soon as I open the door, that delicious aroma greets me. Fresh baked bread always says home, and safety, and love to me. Our sense of smell, perhaps more than any of the other senses, has the power to transport us back to important moments in our pasts. I wonder what happened to Peter, then, when he smelled that charcoal fire. Initially, he is so excited to see Jesus, that he jumps overboard and splashes into shore. The huge catch of fish must have reminded him of the glorious day when Jesus arranged an huge catch of fish, and then said, "Follow me."

But then, he smells the distinctive aroma of a charcoal fire. In all of Scripture, the only other place a 'charcoal' fire is identified is on that terrifying night when Peter’s fear was stronger than his love and he betrayed his Lord. Now, once again, he turns away from Jesus and busies himself with the nets. He is, I suspect, drenched not in fear, but shame.

In the verses that follow, Jesus offers fish and bread to Peter and the friends. I wonder if it was as hard for him to accept that at Jesus’ hand as it is, sometimes, for me to accept the bread of communion when my heart is sore with regret?
Then Jesus calls Peter aside and three times he asks, "Simon (Peter’s old name?), son of John, do you love me?" By the third time, a despondent Peter answers, "You know everything. You know that I love you." His hurt is real and deep.

But Jesus is not shaming him, he is restoring him. Like us, Peter needs to recognise and admit his failure so the brokenness that results can be healed. No bandaid will do — the cancer of shame and sin needs a radical, and sometimes painful surgery. Jesus has given this dear friend three chances to declare his love, one for each time he denied his Saviour, and each time, he entrusts him once again with a precious responsibility, "Feed my lambs. Feed my sheep." Then Jesus goes back to the beginning, offering a chance to start over fresh. Each time Jesus offers not only forgiveness, but restoration and purpose and trust. Once again, he says, "Follow me," and a transformed Peter does, with both courage and joy. He will never be the same.

Dear Saviour and Friend,
I am so tempted to hide whenever I know I have failed you,
or disappointed myself in my weaknesses.
Help me to remember! Your grace is greater than my shame
and your love offers that grace over and over.
Give me the courage to face my defeats,
repent and allow you to heal and restore me,
even if that process is painful.
Remind me that above all else,
just as I am, I am your beloved,
and to trust that love and grace,
Through Jesus who gave his life that I might be healed and restored.