Creativity, Writing
Rev Gav
What is sex-positivity?
FAB Church is an inclusive and affirming community — meaning we are LGBTQIA2SP+ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Intersex, Asexual, and Twin Spirit) welcoming and affirm same gender or same sex relationships, and we are also a sex-positive community, but what does this mean?
Sexuality and intimate relationships are part of what it means to be human. Many churches ignore, hide, or deny human sexuality and intimate relationships, or worse, cloud them in shame by connecting sexuality or intimacy with sinfulness. For example, sometimes, when sex is spoken about in church circles, it is with negative connotations such as the sinfulness of masturbation or sex before marriage, however, sexuality and intimate relationships are gifts from God, and are part of who we are. Sexuality and intimacy should be recognised and celebrated in the sight of God.
It is true to say that despite sexuality and intimacy being ignored, hidden, or denied in church circles, we also live in an overtly sexualised culture. It seems sex is either non-existent or in your face (no pun intended)!
In the same way that gender is diverse, sexuality and relationship dynamics are diverse — very diverse! In fact, there is no such thing as ‘normal’ when it comes to sex, sexuality, or relationships.
Everyone is different and many people have ‘kinks’ — something with which you engage that makes sex or your relationship more pleasurable or satisfying for you and/or your partner(s) — however, it is a sad truth that many who express their sexuality or relationships outside of perceived ‘norms’ have traditionally felt excluded or rejected by the church. Some of these people are members of what we call alt-lifestyle or ‘kink’ communities. They may have specific kinks or fetishes and be part of any number of sex or relationship subcultures. They may have specific sexual identities such as asexual, bisexual, crossdresser, pansexual, heterosexual, demisexual, or sapiosexual, or have ‘roles’ such as dominant, vanilla, submissive, leatherman, or masochist — the list is long.
FAB Church is sex-positive and this means we welcome people of all sexualities and relationship dynamics without judgment or criticism. We do not view any expression of sex or relationships sinful, accept when we put ourselves first at the expense of someone else. In other words, is our expression of sexuality or our relationship dynamic non-consensually ‘hurting’ someone else either physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually?
The leaders of FAB do support and journey (in confidence) with those who struggle with non-consensual adultery and for those whom their kinks have also developed into a paraphilia — a persistent and obsessive kink that tempts them to take harmful risks or engage in illegal acts. We are here to direct people to appropriate support, not to judge, and definitely not condemn.
There are more and more churches that welcome the rainbow community, but few that welcome those that express their sexuality and relationships in non-conforming ways, and FAB Church has a special calling and ministry to both. This means you may find a FAB Church presence at events and venues, and in online communities such as Fetlife, where we share our spiritual content and connect with other members of these communities.
We recognise that there are many — including partners and spouses — who are also non-judgmental and accepting of those who are non-conforming and you are welcome too! The whole point of FAB Church is that it is fully inclusive, non-judgmental, and a safe place for all, especially those who have been marginalised or shamed by the church because of their gender, sexuality, or relationships.
Every Guest and Member of FAB has subscribed to our values that underpin our community. That does not mean we are ‘perfect’ or ‘holier than thou’. It just means we hold these things dear as we do our best to love God and love each other.
Also, feel free to reach out to Rev Gav or Helen if you would like more information or a chat. You can find FAB on Facebook, WhatsApp, Fetlife, and Bluesky, or you can email us at revgav@fab.church or helen@fab.church.
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Love this explanation- and especially the inclusion for everyone x
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Waving from Fetlife! 👋
So, if I wear a latex skirt or dress, it's A-OK? 😃
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C.S.I. wrote:
Of course it is! 🥰